Relief and Regret on the Attention Farm — Post Mortem
Analyzing what worked, and what didn't in my last serial, while taking a look ahead at the work coming down the road!
The Attention Farm is a six-part (technically seven, if you include the poem) serial, sparked by a single image I spotted in a news story. I'm talking about Chinese influencer factories.
If you're not familiar, these are warehouse-like facilities, crammed full of identical studios where lifestyle influencers churn out untold multitudes of videos for their budding TikTok and Instagram accounts. It's somewhat similar to the way 10 companies are behind virtually every item on grocery store shelves.
The original “Attention Farm” was a 500 word short story told from the perspective of Director Lurk, almost bureaucratically bored with his agency’s task of starving an Eldritch horror of the attention it needs to enslave humanity.
But I felt unsatisfied by the lack of mystery, or terror experienced by the characters.
I added new players, and new perspectives. The finished product had the gradual exploration of the Sigil’s power and influence. But to fit within the needs of the story, these revelations had to be taken out of narrative chronology. Hence the lengthy flashback in Part 3, and the research report in Part 1.
Retrospectively, I wonder if I could’ve written the story without the memory loss plot. Had I not been writing in 1st person at the start, I probably would’ve had Winston serve as a truly evil character, fully possessed by Willow. The ritual sabotage would’ve been a true accident.
In fact, I think the story may have been stronger if Cal learned he and Winston were infiltrating ARC for rival reasons: Cal, to avenge his whistleblowing friend; Winston to steal the necessary artifact in ARC’s custody to free Willow properly. There would’ve been a great opportunity for a proper betrayal scene that kicked off the third act. Alas, that’s what happens when you don’t plan properly.
Keeping in mind that this series was effectively a first draft, I think it turned out well over-all. Though I'm not sure it has a place in my anthology. I really enjoyed the grimoire I created in the Signum Confinium — Latin for Sign Prison — but don't like the implications it brings to my poem, "The Sigil."
If you're not familiar with that one, it's a narrative-in-verse about a cult that takes root in a small town, forcing businesses and homes to display the group's mark to avoid retribution. It's told from the perspective of a boy whose father tries to appease the cult, and winds up losing everything anyway. I felt this work, on its own, stood as a powerful indictment of "keeping your head down."
I don't like that the Signum Confinum gives people an out for their shitty behavior. Until I can come up with a way to reconcile this, I'm not sure how to incorporate the grimoire into my broader world of works. Stay tuned.
I’d like to take a short break from series pieces with a quirky short I’m working on. A kind of jaded-detective noir tale, with a sci-fi twist. Fingers crossed, that’s done next week.
I have a six-part serial finished, locked and loaded after that, called “The Turtle Tunnel.” It’s about a new condo owner who has to call on a mild-mannered, Midwestern monster hunter for help, after accidentally freeing a sinister creature from the walls of his new home. I had fun writing it. A good mixture of silly and scary.
My hope is that this six week stretch gives me enough time to wrap up my actual WIP that I've been neglecting. It's a creature-feature set in the mountain town of Kerristead, nestled way up in the remote (and fictional) reaches of Summit County Idaho.
See you then!
Thank You for Reading!
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If you don’t have the money for a paid subscription, telling a friend about me is pretty cool too. Getting your words in front of eyeballs is honestly harder than doing the actual writing and editing…
I enjoyed reading the Attention Farm. It was a good story, but I do see how some of the things you mentioned would have worked well, too.