PSA: Gideon Gale is not real
Part public service announcement, part collaborative investigation. There's something evil on the airwaves, posing as a feature reporter. We don't know what it wants, but we intend to find out.
I’m writing this post as a warning to anyone who is contacted by a feature news reporter named Gideon Gale. DO NOT, under any circumstances, agree to do an interview with this man. I don’t care what you think you’ll get out of it, fame, exposure for your business, attention on your creative works—whatever. It’s not worth it.
A bit of background: Gideon Gale is a local celebrity where I’m from. Or at least, the thing that calls itself Gideon Gale, is a local celebrity. Try not to humanize it. Remember, above all else: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GIDEON GALE.
I have reason to believe that in different DMAs1, he—or some similar entity—may be using another name. Until I can be sure, for your safety, you should avoid doing any kind of media appearance where you’re asked to share personal details about yourself. From what I can tell so far, I think that creative-types, especially those with unusual or unique skillsets are at the greatest risk of being approached by Gideon Gale. That’s part of the reason I decided to share this warning, and catalogue my experiences here.
For reasons that will become clear, I’m extremely concerned about maintaining my anonymity. But I suppose I can’t go around asking you to call me, “That Guy,” “Dude,” or “Man.” Calder Thorson will do just as well as any name, I suppose.
has been kind enough to lend me his platform to share this story with you. Because of Gideon Gale’s apparent proclivity for preying on creatives, this seemed to be the most expedient way to warn the community. I will be cataloguing my research here. Please share any insights you have down in the comments section; this is an ongoing investigation, and its possible that your suggestions could lead to a break in the case.
The following is a transcript from my interview with Robert Tailor, the General Manager of KZMT. This local TV station is based in Russet Lakes, Minnesota, which currently broadcasts the entity calling itself Gideon Gale.
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Thorson: Start from the beginning. How did the entity known as Gideon Gale first hit the airwaves on your station?
Tailor: He just appeared one day, So I’m told.
Thorson: You’re told?
Tailor: Yes. Well, I could tell you the exact night the phenomenon started, but I’ve never seen a single piece from this guy go to air.
Thorson: Okay then, walk me through the first time you noticed the phenomenon.
Tailor: Sure. So one night, during the 11 o’clock news, we just cut to static. Middle of the program. I paged our engineer to let him know we were having signal problems, but he messaged back saying it all looks normal on his end. So I poke my head into the studio and find the anchor, just sittin’ there, waiting. The tally light was on–ah, that means the camera’s running–so he should’ve been reading.
I sign over to him to ask him what he’s doing. He signs back that we’re in a live report. I ask from whom. He answers, Gideon Gale, our feature guy. Looks at me like I’m the biggest idiot he’s ever met.
Thorson: But you don’t have a Gideon Gale on payroll.
Tailor: Right. Except every single person I asked, told me I do. They’ll look me dead in the eye and tell me that the static I’m looking at is actually some fascinating puff piece on some local legend who spends his free time restoring antique marionettes.
Thorson: I don’t understand, you’re going to static every weeknight for three minutes. No one from the network ever called? You never ran it up the flag pole?
Tailor: Would you? I have an entire newsroom telling me Gideon Gale’s worked here longer than I have. The whole town raves about his reporting. I’m the odd man out. For a while, I thought I might be crazy. I mean, he’s won Emmys for cryin’ out loud.
Thorson: He has actually won awards? Like, physical awards?
Tailor: We’ve got the damn trophies in the lobby.
Thorsen: How does that work?
Tailor: A couple years back, our Executive Producer started submitting his pieces.
Thorson: I’m guessing you tried watching back the submission tapes, and—
Tailor: Nothin’ but static. I just kept playing along, thinking I was crazy until the letters started.
Thorson: For the record, you’re referring to the correspondence from Mallory White. Can you tell me the nature of these letters?
Tailor: Oh, for sure. She started writing a month or two ago, complaining that our signal was going dead. First she thought it was her antenna. Except it only ever happens during our 11 o’clock newscast. Never during another show, or commercial break. That’s when I knew that I at least wasn’t crazy. Or at least, I wasn’t the only crazy one in the DL.
We wrote back and forth a few times, before we decided it would be best to keep our heads down.
Thorson: Oh? And why’s that?
Tailor: I’m not superstitious or anything. At least, I wasn’t. But I’m not so sure we understand everything in the world. This is like that: I feel real uneasy when I look at the static, like it’s… hungry, almost? I dunno. Sorry, I’m probably not making much sense.
Thorson: Can you elaborate on that? The hunger feeling, I mean.
Tailor: Have you ever seen one of those nature documentaries on the Discovery channel, where some predator is slinking around.
Thorson: Sure.
Tailor: Well when I look at the static, and I feel like I’m staring right at one of those animals, only, it’s sizing me up like it wants to eat me. Sorry, mister, I know I probably sound a little looney.
Thorson: I do not consider you to be crazy, mister Tailor. Although I do believe it best if you keep our conversation to yourself.
Tailor: Who the heck would I tell?
Thorson: Fair point. Do you have any of these letters? I would be interested in taking a look.
Tailor: Of course. I expect you’d like to speak with her too?
Thorson: If at all possible, yes.
Tailor: I can put you in touch. I’ll send you her information, and a copy of the letters. What’s a good email address for ya?
Thorson: Here’s my card, thank you.
Tailor: Sir?
Thorson: Yes?
Tailor: What is he? Do you know?
Thorson: Only in theory. Do not look too long into the static, mister Tailor, or I fear you will learn his nature as well.
Thank You for Reading
If you have any insight into the Gale investigation, please consider sharing in the comment section. Again, this is an ongoing process, and I will do my best to respond to your comments.
If you or a loved one has an encounter with Gideon Gale, or believe you have met a similar entity in your own locality, please reach out via email to calderthorson@gmail.com. Just throw SIGHTING in the subject line, so I know right away what you’re writing about.
Do make sure you’re subscribed to Cole’s Chapters. This is where you can expect updates on my little investigation. And remember, until we meet again: there is no such thing as Gideon Gale.
That’s “Designated Market Area” for those not well versed in TV terminology. DMAs are typically large metropolitan areas served by the same local TV stations.